2 posts tagged “alligators”

... my vacation back East was wonderful. Despite my scary books, we had an absolutely fabulous time seeing my parents, my grandparents, my new baby cousin Benjamin (!!) and his parents, having some lovely together time with my husband, going to the beach, watching Crazy East Coast Apocalypse thunderstorms. We enjoyed ourselves thoroughly.

One of the things Eric almost enjoyed was playing a round of golf with my dad. (Said round was interrupted early by aforementioned C.E.C.A.T.) My dad has been an avid golfer since forever, and upon our arrival presented Ainsley with her own set of clubs.

Ainsley got quite the golf education. Me, I got a golf book, by none other than Carl Hiaasen, and allow me to report that it does in fact contain alligators. Not the greatest of his efforts (probably because he was hampered by its non-fictionality, but still pretty darn funny in a lot of places. Worth a quick read for anyone who's dabbled in golf, or been affected by those who do. (Eric started it, but got annoyed that ol' Carl H. remarried in his fifties and fathered a now 5-year-old with his no doubt lovely, no doubt young, Greek wife. And I say, why write awesome  eco-comic alligator novels if you can't parlay them into a trophy wife?)

Another great part of this book is that he golfs with Mike Lupica, who has some great middle grade/YA sports novels (I think he writes grown-up stuff too). I do get him confused

with Michael Lewis, sometimes.

I also just finished Maps and Legends, by Michael Chabon, whom I love, and it was excellent. Happily, I'd read all the books of his own he discusses in these essays, and much of the other literature as well (His Dark Materials and The Road, anyway, and Will Eisner stuff). Sandy's blog reminded me that I wanted to read this, but I think I liked it more than she did. At least, I found this non-fiction to be very straightforward and clearly written, whereas sometimes I find M.C.'s fictional prose to be a bit dense. Like, for instance, the serialization of Gentlemen of the Road? Come again? I felt like I was just learning English. Not so with the book. I felt perfectly proficient in the language, thank you very much.

This should be read solely for the tale of Michael Chabon accidentally pissing off the universe of Yiddish speakers. Which reminds me: everyone go read Outwitting History. Right now.If you are a lover of books, of immigrants, of lost causes, of old Jewish ladies that feed you too much and say "nu?" (and who isn't?) you must read this book. You will be inspired. You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll thank me.

And then we'll all go take a Yiddish class together.

Saturday was a good reading day. I killed some grown-up books (Tamar and Nature Girl) and some kidlit (The Wish List and Clash of the Sky Galleons), worked down my New Yorker backlog, and generally enjoyed life. I also served as a Cloth Diaper Expert at Tiny Tots, wherein I diapered a stuffed tiger in front of several very pregnant couples, and took home a $40(!!) gift certificate, which is about half a Thanksgiving/Festivus dress for Ainsley. That shit is PRICEY, yo.

But oh, do I love to evangelize about the diapers. I totally tried to downplay my crunchiness, so as not to scare off the fencesitters,  but I let it slip that we travelled for long periods with the diapers, and just shoved the stinkies into a huge duffel bag and dropped them off at TT when we came back ... Even the Tiny Tots Representative, who you'd think would be on my side, was all "Yeah. That's not usual." My point was that they are convenient! Excuse me for being Hard Core!

Anyway. Tamar gets shoved into some YA categories, because there is a teen protagonist in one part of the book, but

I think Mal Peet is wr ongly pigeonholed as a writer for teens. This is a brutal, scary, tragic, amazing read. You know how your grandpa won't talk about what he did in World War II? This is why. I can't think of any teenagers I know who would "get" this, but I kinda want to give it to everyone I see. One side effect of being a parent (for me) has been enormously excessive empathy for parents separated from their children (or somehow unable to protect their children). Thus all Holocaust literature (fiction or non-fiction) has become unbelievably hard for me to read.  But this was worth it.

The sub-genre of Afterlife Lit (Lovely Bones, Five People You Meet in Heaven, etc.) is better done in kidslit than in adult, in my opinion. The Wish List was a funny example (pity poor Saint Peter, trying to tally souls' sins, when new sins like "mime artist" and "boy band member" keep being added!) but Elsewhere is what I hope really happens after we go.

Now, here's the book that made my weekend:

I

I just love this series so much. I love its universe. I love how unsparing it is, how it absolutely refuses to condescend to kids, how nasty-brutish-and-short everyone's lives are, how exciting their adventures are! This series is the first time I've been awakened to the allure of the life of a pirate. Seriously, what Johnny Depp couldn't do for me, this book does.Ahhhh.

Lastly, Carl Hiaasen. Why has everything he written not been made into a movie? They read like the most hysterical

visual comedies I can imagine. The blurbs compare him to Evelyn Waugh, but I think Tom Sharpe is a better comparison, in the utter ridiculousness of the situations and the sheer comic genius of the writing. I admit it, I'm a Carl Hiaasen Fan. I hope he's got a big ol' ranch in South Florida with alligators around it.

Enough about the damn books. Halloween was unendingly cute this year (last year we spent it in the emergency room, so it was nice to actually HAVE Halloween). Ainsley is big enough to get the point of everything, but small enough that The Candy is not a permanent motivator, and completely ambivalent about costumes. Behold:

"I am a dog. Mollie is a skunk. What is going on here? We trusted you people.  We need to break out."

It's like American Gothic Baby.

And yet, behold:

"It's Mommy's Birthday! I'm a Princess! I love my crown! Everyone must wear a crown!